Tyler James LaMoine Smith

Tyler James LaMoine Smith, born January 9, 2014

Dad and Baby

Wednesday morning (the 8th) I woke up feeling weird.  I didn't want to get my hopes up that it meant labor, but I just felt different.  I had bloody show, but that doesn't really mean much.  I made plans to finish cleaning the house, cooking, and pick up my mom the next day.  We went to bed late, but I didn't get to sleep until after I had a snack at 12:30 am.  At 1:20 I woke up in a LOT of pain.  I didn't know what was going on so I rolled around and moaned and then went back to sleep.  Then at 1:30 I woke up again and realized I was having contractions.  I had never had real contractions before (despite what I thought) and these were much more painful than I could have imagined.

I woke Tyler up to coach me through and we started counting.  Contractions were 4-5 minutes apart and a minute long.  After an hour they were getting longer and faster so we called the hospital.  The nurse told us we could come in, but to try lying down to see if they stopped.  Lying down was awful- it was a really bad position for me to labor in, so after two strong contractions I gave up and we got ready to go.  I showered (laboring in the shower was awesome) and braided my hair while Tyler loaded up the car.  We left at 3:30, and got to the hospital about 3:32 (yay small town!).

Grandma and her first grandbaby!

The funniest thing about the nurses is that they kept trying to ask me important questions, which is super aggravating when your in pain and can't answer.  You'd think that nurses who work in L and D would know better than to ask a woman in pain important questions!

Feeling good after the epidural!

Either way, they put us in a room and got me all hooked up to all the important stuff.  I was dilated to a 6 and 100% effaced.  My cervix was 'textbook,' so they had all the interns and nurses-in-training come check it out (which was awesome).  Labor got really hard and contractions were coming super fast.  Tyler did a great job of coaching me- I really couldn't cope with the contractions without his help.  I was shaking like crazy by the time the anesthesiologist showed up, but once we started the procedure I was so focused on being still that I barely felt the contractions.  The good doctor had to try several times to get the catheter in because he was using lidocane as the local anesthetic, and I burn that stuff off really fast.  Once the epidural was running, around 5:30, I felt really good.  Like, happy drunk good.  It was so great.

By that point I was at an 8, but the epidural slowed down my contractions significantly.  I didn't mind- I spent the time sleeping.  Around 9 I called my mom and we decided I should have the nurse break my water.  She didn't seem very excited to do it, so she went in for a check and pop!  She started me on pitocen as well, and everything picked right back up.  I was a little miffed that I hadn't had them break my water earlier, but in hind sight, I think it was really good that I had those 3-4 hours to rest.

At 10:00 I felt pushing pressure, so we started pushing.  I was making really great progress, but the doctor wasn't there yet, so the nurse stopped me.  After that, my super-happy-labor-vibe totally died.  I turned on my favorite movie- the 5 hour BBC version of Pride and Prejudice.  It didn't help much, my body was still pushing, just without my help.

Finally, I sent Tyler to get the nurse because I needed to push.  We started pushing again at 11:30, the whole time wondering when the doctor would show up.  By the way, the doctor on call was the doctor I hate.  Honestly, this just made me hate him a little more, but by the time he got there I was so ready to have the baby I didn't send him out.  Doctor missing-in-action showed up at 1:00 pm (did I mention he was supposed to be there at 8 that morning?).  I had made great progress and the baby was so close.

We got to a point where the baby just wasn't progressing, and the doctor said he would like to use forceps to pull him out.  I asked him to wait a for more pushes.  He ended up just snipping something with scissors instead.  That was the worst thing about the epidural- I couldn't feel pain, but when he snipped or sliced I could feel the tension snap like a rubber band breaking.  It was just gross and weird and  ugh *shiver.*  The doctor also ended up doing an episiotomy.  Later, Tyler told me it seemed like the doctor was way to liberal with the knife.  It looked (to Tyler) like I would have stretched pretty well, and the episiotomy was premature.  (Just another reason to dislike this doctor).

I was so exhausted, but I could finally feel that the baby was right there.  Everyone was so excited and encouraging me to push hard.  We did one set of 3 pushes, no luck.  On the next push, he finally popped out!  It was such a relief, the feeling was amazing.  Tyler James was born at 1:45 pm.  I started sobbing, and the doctor started working his shoulders out.  Despite the epidural, this part was painful.  They finally pulled him out and I reached down to help pull him onto my stomach.  I wanted to touch him and cradle him but I was totally in shock so I just stared.  He was purple.  They started rubbing him down and I was just crying "Please cry for mommy!  Please cry for me baby!"  He didn't cry, didn't cry, and they finally pulled him away.

Tyler is not great with remembering to take pictures, but he did take some of T.J. as they tried to make him breathe right.

They put him on a table and spent the next 40 minutes working on him. During that time I just cried and cried.  I looked down at the doctor stitching me up once, but it was so gross and I hated the pulling feeling so I mostly just tried to see my baby.  There were so many people that usually someone was in my way.  It was terrible.  At one point he did cry a little bit, but it was very quiet.

After 40 minutes, a woman came over and explained that they couldn't get his lungs cleared up and would need to take him to the NICU.  She got a funny look and asked "Has momma gotten to hold the baby?"  I said no, and my nurse said no, so they brought him over and laid him on my chest.  I touched his head and body and kissed his face and told him I loved him, but in the 30 seconds he was with me he went back from light pink to blue.  Just as fast as he was there they whisked him away and Tyler went with and I was all alone (the doctor had finished stitching me up long before).

He made almost this same face when they put him on my chest.  "Mom, this is so confusing and hard!"

And then I cried and cried and cried.  And cried.  At some point I got it under control, then my momma arrived and it started again.  Eventually I got it under control again, then Tyler came back with the pediatrician.  Tyler had this look on his face - I started crying again, but quietly so that I could hear the doctor tell us that the baby had some kind of bacterial pneumonia.  It could have come from group-B strep even though I tested negative, or maybe from something else that passed through the placenta.  The baby would have to be on oxygen and stay in the NICU for at least a week, maybe longer.

Oh, and they finally gave me the stats- 8lbs 14oz, 21 and 1/8 inches.

That's really the end of the labor and birth part.  Overall, my labor experience was great, with the exception of the worst doctor ever ruining everything and being a butt.  If he had been there on time, my labor would have been shorter and the I would have been much happier.

I'd hate to leave this story on a sad note, so I'll fast-forward through the hours I spent trying to recover.  I finally got to hold my baby at 7, maybe 8 that night.  He was on 75% oxygen and his breathing was so fast.  I was so heartbroken that my almost 9-pound baby was so sick, and we would have to leave him there at the hospital.  They told me I might be able to try breast feeding after he had learned to breathe, maybe in 4 or 5 days.

You can see in these pictures how exhausted I am.  My eyes are so puffy from crying and I'm just a mess, but this was the best part of my day.

When I went to visit him the next morning, T.J. had made a miraculous turnaround.  They had weaned him off oxygen during the night and his breathing had normalized.  I asked about breast feeding and I got to nurse him a few minutes later.  I stayed the full 2 days so that I could be in the hospital with my baby.  It was wonderful, because the second night I was able to go and do night feedings.  Leaving the hospital without my sweet boy was so awful.

I've been spending every day in the NICU.  Although it's not what I would pick, I am grateful that we've been so blessed.  Thanks to modern medicine, our baby is alive.  T.J. is mostly healthy, and today he had even gained 2 ounces.  I was able to deliver vaginally, and my labor was only 12 hours.  Plus, my baby is the cutest human to ever exist on planet earth.  We are so blessed.  Hopefully, we only have one NICU day left!
-Mrs. Smith