people are good

I am the kind of person who, in general, believes the worst of humanity as a whole.  I don't consider myself optimistic, but if I assume the worst of everyone I am never disappointed because usually they do better than I expect!  However, this outlook makes leaving the house with a fussy baby really intimidating because I expect people to be unkind about my crying baby.

This week, I had to go to walmart.  I tried to time it right after Eli's nap, but he fell asleep again in the car and (of course) woke up as we walked into the store.  Since he felt like he had napped, he wanted to nurse.  He nurses for 20-30 minutes and since I could be in and out of the store in that time I figured he would just have to tough it out.  But he cried.  Alot.  Very loudly.  I tried to look like I was comforting him (giving him a bink, talking to him), because I've noticed people are more grouchy when you don't seem to be trying to fix the problem.  But I knew he was just mad I wasn't feeding him and nothing would stop the crying until I nursed him.

I had to get Motrin for TJ because he is cutting molars, and I needed diapers for Eli.  The medicine is on the opposite side of the store from the baby supplies. So we are running madly through the store, TJ in the shopping cart seat and Eli in his carseat in the basket.  TJ was so well behaved, but Eli's crying was reaching new heights as I finally got to the diapers.  When I arrived in the baby section, I noticed one woman in particular staring at us.  Great, I thought.  Judge me all you want, I HAVE to get these diapers!  Then, of course, I had to spend twenty years digging out the last box of size ones.

Finally, I had everything, I was ready to make a break for the register!  I was trying to navigate through the crowded racks of baby clothes when the woman I had noticed watching us walked by and said, "Can I help with anything?"

My first assumption, when I saw her watching us, was that she was judging me.  What she was really doing was wondering if she could help!  I was totally struck, and I had to hold back tears as I thanked her and explained I had everything I needed and was headed to checkout.

Then I dashed madly to the checkout, and of course ended up in the line with the people paying with checks and the cashier who was training and was slow as death and Eli cried the whole time.

BUT.  She offered to help.

Thank you, stranger in walmart.  Thank you for telling me you've been there.  Thank you for having the courage to say something.  Even though I didn't need it, it meant the world to know that someone was sympathetic and wanted to lend a hand.

Thank you for reminding me that people are good.